Book Review: "L8r, g8r"

This review marks the third (and last) of the trilogy of Lauren Myracle's Internet Girls series. So comes the end of the line for Zoe, Maddie, and Angela, the winsome threesome.

It's senior year for these three friends, and everything is changing. Everyone's preparing to go to college - different colleges, at that. The realization hits home that they won't be "together forever". Will their friendship survive such an upheaval? Add typical boy troubles into the mix for added drama.

Some things never change though. Feuding with the monster who calls herself Jana is still going strong. Much of the story of this book has to do with all the warring going on between the friends and Jana. A valuable lesson can be pulled from this in this particular book of the series: revenge only begets more revenge, and it will never stop until someone makes an effort to put an end to it.

There's the typical topical internet things mentioned, although not nearly so much in this book as much as the first two did. It hardly goes any further than constantly mentioning the Big Bunny cartoons (which, dated though this book may be now, I was shocked to see this mentioned - I used to peruse that site all the time in its heyday before the days of Youtube). No Googlewhacks this time around, no internet quizzes - just Big Bunny.

Also, I give it a bonus point for a positive Beatles mention. Just about any book that mentions them in a positive light holds favor with me. ;)

This is probably the weakest of all three books (it really felt like it was grasping at straws just to drag the series out one more book), but at the same time, the most "real", should I say. One thing's for sure: after reading this trilogy, I don't think I miss high school anywhere near as badly as I thought I did before. As for this particular book though, I think I'm going to rate it a 3 out of 5 stars. Fairly neutral, which is more or less what I was left feeling after finishing it and realizing the series is over.

Book Review: "TTFN"

The second of Lauren Myracle's Internet Girls series, TTFN (or "ta ta for now" for anyone not in the know) follows closely in the footsteps of its predecessor, TTYL. To date, there's only one more book in the trilogy series (and likely, probably won't be more than that). It's still written in the same quirky instant messenger style, which, by the time you've gotten around to reading this book, doesn't seem all that strange to see on paper anymore.

Now, unlike the previous book, this one seems more realistic. It deals with more typical, real life problems that teenagers have, rather than ridiculous, contrived drama that sounds like it's straight out of a Disney Channel teen drama (and by "teen drama", I surely jest and mean Hannah Montana). The girls have just started their junior year of high school, and things are more or less picking up right where they left off in the first book (except a year ahead, but they quickly bring you up to speed in anything that happened in the timeframe between the two books). But, all is not well in paradise, for seemingly as soon as the girls start to feel a little too complacent and normal in their everyday lives, their worlds get turned upside down. Things begin to change and feel weird, and then Angela's father springs it on her that he's being relocated to California for his job and that he's taking the family with him. How will the Winsome Threesome get by without their core member? Not very well, evidently.

It doesn't take long for the natural shift of events to happen after Angela moves. Angela's thrown into a new school that she absolutely hates, and is more or less trailed around by this creepily immature girl Glendy who follows her around like a little lost puppy. Zoe starts growing interested in the boy that practically stalked Angela all of the prior year, even though she couldn't have so much have acknowledged his existence at the time. Things start to get hot and heavy pretty quick for them, and Angela finds out. Jealousy and tempers arise, and drama ensues. (I'm trying not to give too much away here...) Her good girl image is quickly shedding away. Meanwhile, Maddie has gotten involved with an entirely new crowd of kids (anyone remember the Jana drama of the last book?) and gets into trouble of her own, quickly becoming a stoner girl. What will happen? You'll have to read to find out! The book does have a surprise twist ending, which may or may not be all that realistic, but it was still cute. It also still has quirky internet jargon thrown in there that even made me have to do a doubletake (who knew that "Googlewhack" was a real thing? I have to admit, I even did go and try playing it a few times while still reading the book...), and toned down on the over-done, superfluous internet quizzes (THANK GOD).

Ultimately, I enjoyed this book considerably more than the last one. This one makes the girls feel FAR more like real people, rather than cookie cutter, teenager stereotypes. Sure, the angry mothers-who-protest-everything groups will probably still get their panties in a bunch over controversial material in this one, but it doesn't feel as far fetched in this book and like they're really just reaching for shock value and trying to pull in teens' interest by being 'edgy' or whatnot. This more accurately portrays the type of drama real life teenagers face in their lives, and I give it 2 big thumbs up for that. I'm going to go ahead and rate this book a 4 out of 5 stars.

Book Review: "TTYL"

Lauren Myracle's Internet Girls series isn't exactly anything new. In fact, the books have been floating around for several years now at least, and I just finally got around to reading them myself finally. I have heard a LOT of mixed reviews about them, from both sides of the controversy surrounding them, so I finally decided I had to see for myself whether the criticism was well warranted, or if that was, in fact, yet another instance of worried mothers' groups getting all bent out of shape over practically nothing...yet again. As I was perusing aimlessly through my local library's shelves, I happened to find all three books of the trilogy sitting side by side on the bottom shelf in the teen room (shut up, don't judge me). As they're fairly thin paperbacks, I snagged up all three. I'll be writing reviews about the other two as well shortly, but for now, let's just stick to the first book, TTYL.

As a long-time patron of the internet, and especially of AOL Instant Messenger, the book cover alone heralded to me and to my borderline internet addiction. Anyone who's used the program knows that the emoticons above the title of the book are snagged directly from AIM itself. Likewise, the style of the book is just that: written in instant message style. Cover to cover. Every page has a border around it to make it appear as though it were an instant messenger window, and painstaking effort has been placed into making every page look as though it were an instant messenger chat transcript between friends, complete with date and time of the conversation. I can't say as I've ever seen a book written quite this way before, and outside of this series, it's questionable whether the style will ever be seen again. Regardless, I tend to like things that are a little bit different, and I give the publishers top marks for all the effort they placed into this. That said...

The target audience for these books are young teenagers. And this is where the controversy comes in, because I even have to admit - there's plenty of things in this book that are not appropriate for such a young audience. Now, this is also where I can understand both sides of the arguments about these books, and I would never imply that a book should be banned, ever. (After all, this comes from the girl who's re-read Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita more times than I can count, despite its VERY controversial subject matter and personal convictions against real life occurences like those portrayed in the story, but I digress.) I believe that it should be a case by case basis decided by the parents of younger teenagers whether they feel comfortable letting their children read these, as sure, there's plenty of parents out there who'd be absolutely appalled by what's between these covers, but for every parent like that, there's another who wouldn't feel that it's all that big of a deal. (For the record, I fall more towards this side of the line myself, but I'm also not a parent.) I'm in my late 20's; it hasn't been all that long since *I* was a teenager. Overprotective though some parents may be, that will never stop teenagers from talking about (and sometimes, engaging in) racy and inappropriate things. It's when many people start getting their very first exposure to raunch, sex, and drugs. I'm not condoning anything other than the fact that girls talk, and there's not a thing in the world that will stop these sort of topics from coming up in their conversations at some point of another. The story revolves around three high school girls; Maddie, Angela, and Zoe, who all share everything via their instant message conversations.

With all this in mind, I have a 13 year old sister who I feel quite protective of myself. I paused many times as I was reading this book to think about just how I'd feel if I knew she were reading something like this, and found myself growing pretty defensive. I'm by *no* means a prude whatsoever (anyone who's ever talked to me knows this within the first 5 minutes) and yet, it's quite possibly the first time I have ever felt that something might legitimately not be appropriate for its intended demographic. Everyone is going to have their own set of opinions here, and it's easy to preach, but...oh hell. Let me let the book do the talking for itself. I took notes as I read about notable passages I felt ought to be quoted that might help some parents make up their own minds about whether they feel the book is appropriate or not for their child.

On PAGE TWO (yes, you read that right!!!), we already have a conversation revolving around pubic hair going on:

SnowAngel: come on, it would suck to have your friends drop u like that. leigh has a blog on grrl.com, and supposedly she posted an entire enrty about how susie needs to shave her pubes. isn't that awful?
mad maddie: have u read it?
SnowAngel: not yet, but I will
mad maddie: my brother's new girlfriend doesn't shave her pits OR her pubes. he brought her to this family party at lake lanier last weekend, and she wore a bikini.
SnowAngel: that's sick
mad maddie: it was basically like she had a pelt. the pops pulled me aside and said in this really loud whisper, "guess she forgot to mow the lawn, huh?"
SnowAngel: SICK!!!
mad maddie: he was drunk, of course
SnowAngel: i could NEVER not shave my pubes. that is just gross. but even if i did have a pubic hair problem, which i do not, u and zoe would still luv me, right?
mad maddie: hmm...

Sure, the passage isn't all that completely terrible, and even a little humorous. But at the same time, you can of course understand the controversy, both because of the nature of something like this (and being on only the second page of the book!! What does this say for the tone of the rest of the book, you know?) and because it may lead young, impressionable minds who are already feeling self conscious about their changing bodies to feel like they HAVE to be a certain way, lest they feel like they're gross to the rest of the planet. Let's take another example here. By page 6, we already have hinted conversation about oral sex and a perverted teacher:

SnowAngel: hey, zoe!
zoegirl: hi, angela. how r ya?
SnowAngel: ooo, i am good. wanna know why?
SnowAngel: cuz--drumroll, please--ROB TYLER is in my french class!!! *breathes deeply, with hand to throbbing bosom* on friday we have to do "une dialogue" together. i get to ask for a bite of his hot dog.
zoegirl: u do not
SnowAngel: yes, and it will be tres sexy. he is SO cute, zoe. today he was wearing this yellow button-down that was quite unexpected on a retro boy like him. he had the sleeves rolled up, and i'm telling u, he's got the greatest forearms.
zoegirl: does he, now?
SnowAngel: it's from doing construction work all summer. isn't that cool that he worked construction? it's so...manly.
zoegirl: sounds like u guys actually talked.
SnowAngel: our seats r right next to each other. and tonite when i do my homework, i get to fantasize about his summer sausage. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*
zoegirl: great, while i'll be reading 5000 pages of The Great Gatsby and answering probing discussion questions about the american dream. mr. h expects us to read a book a week. can u believe that?
SnowAngel: like that'll be a problem for u.
SnowAngel: did he stare at your boobs?
zoegirl: who, mr. h?
SnowAngel: maddie and i had him for journalism last year, and he was always staring at some girl's boobs, mostly maddie's. he was always "reading" her shirts.
zoegirl: ewww!
SnowAngel: so watch out. he makes a big deal of being all Christian, but what that MEANS is that he's majorly sexually repressed. whereas i, on the other hand, am not sexually repressed at all. speaking of, better start practicing for rob. bye!

Yeeeeeah...it's like that. But does it stop there? Oh, no. No, no, no. That would be far too easy. No, by page 11, we've got talk about female ejaculation...

SnowAngel: anyway, jana's totally backstabbing margaret cheney. did u know that?
mad maddie: exsqueeze me?
SnowAngel: it almost makes me feel sorry for margaret, cuz she and jana r supposed to be best buds. but i guess it's margaret's own fault for ever trusting jana in the first place.
mad maddie: explain
Snow Angel: well, i was in the bathroom after 5th period, right? and jana and terri were there, and jana was going on about what a bitch margaret was for flirting with rex saunders. i guess rex is like jana's property cuz they went to some party together over the summer. jana was all, "she is such a whore," and then she lowered her voice like she was telling some big secret and said something REALLY gross.
mad maddie: and that would be...?
SnowAngel: omg
SnowAngel: well, she said that margaret...er...ejaculates.
mad maddie: WHAT?!!!
SnowAngel: well, actually she said she squirts when she comes. and then she was like, "shit, i can't believe i told u. u've gotta swear not to tell, terri. terri, u've gotta swear!" while the whole time i was 2 sings over going, "HELLO! do u even know i'm here?"
mad maddie: that is disgusting
SnowAngel: i know. i was like, "margaret is your friend, u asshole. how would u like it if she went around spreading rumors about u?"
mad maddie: i meant the other part. about margaret.
SnowAngel: oh. well, yeah.
SnowAngel: some girls really do, tho. i read it in our bodies, ourselves.
mad maddie: ick

Now, I don't know about you, but for a book that's aimed for young teenagers, having a book that even in the first handful of pages has more content that's questionable than content that isn't seems...questionable! If done correctly, and any all of these topics could have been addressed without it seeming contrived or like the author was trying to throw in a bunch of random sexually themed conversations just because it's a well known fact that sex sells. But in the opening pages, doing it that quickly? Just out of nowhere? I don't know, it just strikes me as being really weird. But, that's not the only example in this book seeming like it's trying just a little too hard to be authentic, and ends up coming off as retarded and maybe even a little pathetic. For instance, the following passage would never happen:

SnowAngel: hey, doug must have gotten off-line, cuz his name's off my buddy list. maybe i'll call him just to chat so he'll know i'm not a jerk. and then afterward i'll call rob and turn on the ol' charm, so that he'll know i'm NOT disinterested.

 ...okay. Someone may point out that someone must've gone offline, but having to clarify HOW they know it? And explaining it's "cuz his name's off my buddy list"? Trying too hard. Just, too too hard. The person you're talking to on the other end knows how the damn program works. It's not like you'd EVER have to explain that to someone! Oy... Also, the use of asterisking to make it seem authentic? Yes, girls really do asterisk. I do so quite often, actually. (Both in my legitimate IMs and in my roleplaying games, but I digress...) However. The way that they go about it in this book is WAAAAAAY over the top. Generally it's a couple, maybe a few words. It's not all super descriptive in the way that this book portrays it, generally. It's quite rare that it's a lengthy asterisk for a typical run of the mill conversation. (Roleplaying, on the other hand - before anyone sends me any comments about this - uses asterisks every time your character performs some sort of action. Just clarifying for anyone who's never indulged, because I am that nerdy.) While we're at it, since when does everyone on the planet - or at least, in the universe of this book - use their real name as part of their screen names?? I've only known VERY few people who've done this. My own "jennionenote" screen name is not my typical one I've used the majority of my internet life. It was a play on words of the Judy Garland song, "Johnny One Note" just to change things up a little, but it is the only time I've ever personally had a screen name with my name in it. And as far as instant messengers are concerned, I think I've only known 4, maybe 5 people ever, out of HUNDREDS (if not thousands) of people I've chatted with online over the years who used their name as part of their screen name. Another hit against authenticity...

Another small thing that grated on my own nerves as a gripe, but only because it's an actual pet peeve of mine, is the overusage of chatspeak. Now, I'm not talking about acronyms like "LOL" or "BRB" or anything like that. I'm talking about the lazy "u" instead of "you", "c" instead of "see", etc. For the most part, there's a complete and total lack of capitalization. In the real world, for the most part, a complete lack of capitalization all the time when you're talking to someone seems to convey great disinterest in talking to you, so this is why that bothers me. Now, people do all of this on cellphones, or even Twitter, because the number of characters you're allowed to use per message is so limited. But on IM, where there's really not much of a limit (unless if you literally type paragraphs and paragraphs - which basically only happens if you're a roleplayer anyway)? There's no excuse for this. It takes you what, half a second the type the extra few letters? I'll tell you what, it makes me read your message slower rather than faster, so your efforts in saving time really don't pay off whatsoever. Teenagers generally DO NOT type like that. Middle schoolers who're trying too hard to be cool like their own personal visions of teenagers? Maybe. But not real teenagers. Sorry. (Either that, or maybe I'm more of a nerd than I thought and was just blessed with exceptionally literate friends who actually put effort and thought into their instant messages...)

So this brings me to still yet another point. 90% of the type of drama that these girls seem to endure day in, day out, is SO middle school drama, not high school drama. (As are their solutions.) There's a huge difference here. I find it hard to believe that anyone who has experienced this firsthand in their own life going through those ages could ever forget it and mix up the two, but I suppose that's just how it goes. I don't care who you are, this is not an accurate portrayal of the high school experience.

Likewise, if we're talking about the author seemingly not knowing the territory as well as she claims to, here's some more perfect examples of being both dated and just plain irrelevent in today's teenage world. Talking about having to get off the computer because someone was waiting for a phonecall. Ummmmm....this book was published in 2006, who did Lauren Myracle think she was kidding here? Just about anyone who had the internet by that point either was on DSL or wi-fi - or both. Nobody was still using freakin' dial-up anymore! And as even more years have passed since the book was written now, it seems even more wildly dated in today's increasingly ever-digital world. You're not going to sell anybody on that kind of a mistake. Similarly, talking about That 70's Show as if it were a brand new series is also not very convincing for trying to sound hip and modern. Unless this book was written almost a good ten years before it ever got published, then what's up with that?? The book also dates itself with mentions of Geocities, although there was no way the author could have known that the service would be defunct just a short 2 years after the book was published, so I can let that example slide. But as a reader, it was something that mentally had me going "wow, that takes me back..."

So now that we're back in the proper realm of talking about things in the book seeming non-realistic, let's delve into this a little more here. The way the girls are ALWAYS taking online quizzes and demanding each other take them and share their results - NOT realistic. These are the sort of things you tend to see pop up with the results banners on people's Livejournals, and that's about it. Nobody's going to sit there and harass you, day in, day out, to take really stupid quizzes with you. Nobody. If they did, something tells me it wouldn't be long before you'd go hunting for that 'block' button.

Just as one wouldn't really go harassing their friends to take really stupid online quizzes on a daily basis and get all butt-hurt if they didn't, one wouldn't obsess to their friends about what they're wearing to different places. Okay yes. I know that teen girls are obsessed with clothes, fashion, and what to wear, but NOBODY is going to sit there and type out every last article and accessory of clothing they're wearing down to the tiniest detail, plus the styling of their hair and what perfume they're wearing, EVERY time they go out. Even the little fashionistas don't go about it in the way the girls in this book do. It's hard to explain unless you actually see it for yourself. But it struck me as EXTREMELY odd every time it came up - almost as odd as one of the girls flat out admitting to her friends about her chin hair. (....because that's normal to talk about with your friends at that age, right??)

Now, this next bit, I know I'm biased about and I've spoken many, many times about different things on this very matter, but yet again in this book too, there is just waaaaaaay too much emphasis placed on the notion of losing your virginity. The whole 'the sooner you lose it, the sooner you'll be cool!!!' attitude that I've grown to loathe in modern culture. WHY everyone is in SUCH a rush to lose it, I'll never understand. I know people are trying to fit in, but... how did society do SUCH a 180 in such a short amount of time, from placing so much emphasis on *keeping* your virginity until your wedding night to now, where seemingly everyone on the planet wants the bragging rights of losing it ASAP? I hate that. I absolutely hate that, and I think that it's terrible that a book that's aimed for such young, impressionable girls has this recurring message throughout the entire thing.

I also resent the recurring gay slurs throughout the book. Granted, the author tries to basically save her own ass by having one of the characters defend against it and say how terrible it is to make a comment like that, but the slurs are STILL there in print, and the story very easily could have done without those and not lost a thing. I both realize and acknowledge the fact that this is another personal bias of mine, just like the last point, but it still really bothers me and made me put the book down a couple of times because it pissed me off. There's enough homophobia in the world as it is, it doesn't need to be perpetuated even more.

There's other points I could bring up as well, but this review's getting rather lengthy and book-ish itself, so I ought to wrap this up. Anyhow, I do like that because of the style in which the book's written, you can easily pick it up and put it down at a moment's notice without having the whole 'get back into reading mode' experience there usually is with more orthodox books. It also helps you breeze through a lot of pages quickly, which is another nice point I can give to it.

Overall, I really don't feel like I can give this book anything better than a lukewarm review at best. Maybe it's just me, but I crave more intellectually stimulating material rather than non-stop gossipy fodder. I wish I could say that I hope the other two books in the series will be better, but I can't say as I'm exactly holding my breath here.

Awkward Lip Balms, or How The Junk Food Industry Wants To Kill You

You know, I've been on the internet since about 1994. I'm no stranger to the oddities that the world wide web brings into our daily lives. But this morning, even I had to take a step back for just a moment with this one:

No folks, this is sadly NOT photoshopped! This is 100% legit. Paula Deen has her own line of lip balms now. The flavors? Key lime (okay), banana cream pie (yum), and......butter.

Yes. BUTTER. As in, you melt and put over your popcorn. BUTTER.

What marketing genius thought this was possibly a good idea!?!??!?! Butter doesn't belong in lip balms as a flavor!! And yet, this couldn't help but start me to thinking... what other weirdass lip balms are undoubtedly out there in the world in existence that we haven't heard about? So, I bring to you my humble collection that I compiled this morning from all corners of the internet. Every single one of these is real; not one photoshop among the bunch. And all of them ARE indeed flavored as exactly whatever they're labeled as. Hold onto your stomachs, we're in for a bumpy ride...

Reminiscent of the 1950's...or of all that time you spent working minimum wage at McDonalds during your teen years.

As if you haven't had your fill of clogging your veins with the real deal, continue the buttered popcorn fest with this! Or if you're on a diet, try using this in lieu of actual popcorn at the movies. ....Actually, don't. You'll just look stupid.

Oh Cinnabon, you evil, evil bastards. As if it weren't enough that one whiff of Cinnabon can derail a diet faster than you can say the name of these sugary confections, but now you can have this on your lips ALL. DAY. LONG.

I can almost guarantee you that this was either designed by a fat chick, or a stoned college kid. Possibly both.

Clearly, anyone who buys Gushers lip balm is a masochist, as even as a kid, these little jewel-shaped harbingers of doom would glue your back molars together so tightly, it's amazing you didn't give yourself an inadvertant root canal trying to open your mouth again.

Or, as they're more commonly called down in Texas, corny-dogs!

 There are no words. Just no freakin' words.

 I swear to god I just dry heaved looking at this.

I, for the life of me, will NEVER understand the current trend of bacon-themed products of all sorts. Especially this one.

Yes...yes. Clearly, it is a good idea to make a lip balm out of a hallucinogenic alcoholic drink from the 1920's...I'm sure this will be real popular with the kids.

There has to come a point when there is simply too much chocolate in your life. I'm pretty sure the day that you resort to this....you've hit that point.

 I take back what I said before. THIS is the point where you've officially got a chocolate problem.

 ...I'm pretty sure I hate people right now.

 Not gonna lie...there's something alluring about the whole thought of wasabi-flavored lip balm. Weird, I know, but I would try it.

  Don't just eat your sugary breakfast cereals anymore. Wear them! (I think I just died inside a little, typing that...)

 

Because Betty Crocker simply wasn't content enough with making the other lip balms of sugary sweet confections....now we've entered the cake market. Not just cakes. Even the cakes you make in the MICROWAVE. WHYYYYY does this exist??

The Pillsbury Doughboy has a diabolical agenda to give you all diabetes. These are your red flags, people. All he's missing is his red arm band and Hitler moustache...

Seeeeeee?? Believe me now?? He's trying to feed you pure frosting! This is just getting sick.

 Yep. The Pillsbury Doughboy wants you to die a sweet, sugary death.

Do I really need to say more?

 Okay, that's just gross.

 Actually, it seems the Hershey's company is *also* in on this fiendish plan.

Mr. Wonka, noooooo!!! You're part of this too?!

 

 KEEBLER! I expected better than this from you!

Somewhere, Jesus is quietly weeping right now.

 

 Well... I can't say that I'm surprised that the Coca Cola company is involved in this, as they've never been afraid of stooping to anything. Oh well, at least I've still got Pepsi Co.!

 

 .....DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!! Is nothing sacred anymore?! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN MEEEEEEE?????

Gidget Is The Girl For Me!

There was a movie on yesterday that I was overhearing from downstairs - I believe it was one of the Father of the Bride films - and I couldn't help but notice the melody of the theme song. I knew I knew it from somewhere...but not in its current form. I couldn't get the tune out of my head. I kept humming it to myself, and slowly words started coming to me. The words were different by far than those used in this other version, but soon I realized where I knew it from...

GIDGET!

Yes! That was it! Same exact tune! So I went in search of the song on Youtube. First I ran across another old favorite...the theme song from the TV series. Ohhhhh man. That took me right back. I remember being 17 years old and just OBSESSED with the show. I wanted to BE Sally Field's character! I loved every last thing she ever wore on that show, all that fab 60's fashion.

Then I ran across something in the related links that I'd never seen before - the FULL version of the song.

HOLY CRAP!!!! There's entire verses of the song I didn't even know existed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O_O My mind is blown, and my inner 17 year old fangirl is squealing like crazy. I'd always wished this song was longer...had I only known about this then!! Man!

But then I was hot on the trail of the correct song in question. This, although the wrong performer, IS the correct song:

*swoons* This guy has a certain Sinatra-ish quality to his voice...so even though it's not the version of the song I was originally looking for, this is definitely now well-loved. (Another one downloaded with Video2Mp3.)

I searched and searched and searched. There's a VERY close one to the version from the film, but still isn't *quite* it. I think it's by the same group, but it still a different version. If anyone should have the version from the film, please please please let me know! This is the closest I turned up:

The New Beatlefest Catalogue Is Here!

You know, I'm usually pretty good about being able to look through catalogues and websites of different things without going crazy with greed.

...EXCEPT when it comes to Beatles stuff.

......and ESPECIALLY when it comes to the Beatlefest catalogue, overpriced though the items may be. -_- I get a severe case of the 'OMG GIMME GIMMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!'s every time I even attempt to look through them. Well, sure enough, the new one came today, and it's happened once again, haha. Now, while I would love to feature and showcase every single item from it, I'll restrain myself here and keep it to the ones that, if I had the sort of money to blow, I would SO totally buy. (There's more than just these that I'd buy, of course. But these are just too awesome not to be of note.)

Yellow Submarine Ice Cube Tray - $12.50
Dude. They're freakin YELLOW SUBMARINE ICE CUBES!!!! How fucking cool is that?!?!?! I want Yellow Submarine ice cubes!!! I mean...sure...they're gonna melt, but you can always make more! And they'll be awesome! You know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE YELLOW SUBMARINE ICE CUBES AHHHHHHH!!!! (okay, breathe Jenn, breathe....)

Rubber Soul Throw Blanket - $59.00
I've wanted a Beatles throw blanket since I was about 11 years old. Thing was, back then, the cheapest ones you could find were about $120. (And those were the *cheap* ones.) The fact that they're down to $59 now is fairly impressive to me, and even moreso that it has my favorite Beatles album as the picture on it!! Unfortunately for me, I'm unemployed and broke, so I shall just have to keep my fingers and toes crossed that it will still be available somewhere at some point when I'll have enough money to buy one.

Sgt. Pepper Alarm Clock - $25.00
Okay. Nevermind the fact that I don't know how to read an analog clock. Nevermind the fact that I have a digital clock that I programmed to play "Good Morning, Good Morning" as it goes off. ....LOOK HOW FREAKIN AWESOME THIS BITCH IS. That is just a badass piece of home decor right there. I think I'm in love with it.

A Hard Day's Night Wall Clock - $26.00
Same thing applies as to the alarm clock. It's not like I could actually *read* this clock (as I'm apparently just retarded when it comes to this), but...look how amazing this clock is!!!!!!!! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Help Black Faux Suede Cap - $29.50
Okay. I used to have one something like this. It wasn't a licensed Beatles product or anything like that, but it was the same style, and I totally bought it because it looked like John's. It met a terrible demise involving my sister being an evil bitch and some lipstick smeared into it. I haven't yet been able to find another like it. Welllll....this one is PRETTY DARN CLOSE. You have no idea how tempted I am to just splurge and buy this *right now*. I'm resisting, but god.....SO tempting.....

Set of 4 Yellow Submarine Statues - $460
O_O JESUS CHRIST WHY ARE THESE SO EXPENSIVE?!?!??!!!?!!? Also, why is Ringo wearing Old Fred's hat?

Yellow Submarine Tabletop Pinball Machine - $42.50
DUUUUUUUDE. MEMORIES!!! I SO had one of these when I was little. Except, uh...it wasn't Beatles. It was Super Mario Bros and I thought it was freakin awesome. In retrospect, it wasn't all that great, and as all these tabletop pinball machines work about the same (read as: barely work at all), it wouldn't be worth it unless if just for the sake of having as a decoration. I have to admit, it is REALLY freaking cute!

Yellow Submarine Wonder Wand - $7.50
God, if I thought the pinball machine brought back memories...!! I remember Wonder Wands! They really served no functional purpose other than to just look pretty. You tilt them back and forth and watch the glitter and stuff inside go back and forth, kind of like those floatie pens...

Yellow Submarine Baby Stroller - $280
Okay. You know what? Things like this should not exist. You know why? Because they make insane people like myself want to have babies for ALL the wrong reasons...such as, simply having an excuse to buy stuff like this. LMAO

Please Please Me shirt - $28.00
You know, I have a lot of Beatles t-shirt. And I mean a *LOT*. Enough to where I could wear a different one every single day for 2 or 3 months straight and never wear the same one twice. But you know what I don't see very often at all, and only own I think one of? Long-sleeved Beatle shirts! This is simply amazing. MORE OF THESE, PLEASE!!!

Beatles Umbrellas T-shirt - $21.00
Even with the over-abundance of Beatles shirts I own, I'm still always on the lookout for more that I don't already have. Never seen this one before and I like it!!! :D

Magical Mystery Tour T-shirt - $21.00
You know, the only reason I hesitate on this one is because the neckhole and the sleeves look EXTREMELY narrow...possibly even too tight for myself. That said, I LOVE THIS DESIGN. I love the general psychedelia, I love everything about it! <3

A Hard Day's Night Suit Replica - $425.00
Okay. Should I ever win the lottery, you can bet one of the very first things I'd buy would be this! (Well...if I won the lottery, I'd probably  buy the real thing. BUT STILL! Let me dream!)

Shea Stadium Replica Jacket - $295
I went out of my way to get a jacket that looked a lot like this once, years and years ago. But one that ACTUALLY *reallllllly* looks like the real deal.....how cool would that be?!

Rubber Soul Jacket Replica - $359.00
I think this one speaks for itself. Then again, it probably looked a million times better of John Lennon than it ever would on me. But it's still amazing!!

Help! Deluxe Ltd. Edition 2 DVD Set - $59.99
You know, despite the fact that Help! is my favorite of the Beatles movies, I've actually never been able to track this 2 disc version with the book down before. At least, not for a reasonable price. Everything on the Beatlefest site is priced way higher than it needs to be, including this. It's just a matter of finding it for a good price, and in new condition with all the extras still there...

John & Yoko on the Dick Cavett Show DVD - $19.50
I remember sitting up to watch all the episodes of the Dick Cavett Show with John and Yoko on it when I was in 6th grade. Far from a first generation fan, but still enough to make a profound impact on my upbringing, so I think it's really cool that there's a collection of all these now. :)

Sea Of Science mug - $12.50
Nothing too noteworthy to say here, I just think it looks cool. :)

Beatles Mug & Coaster Set - $16.50
I think this is interesting. I lilke the concave shape of the mug. However, I do have one teensy, tiny little pet peeve with this set....THERE IS NO RHYME OR REASON TO THEIR CHOICE OF DECOR. Okay. Let's put randomly the Beatles For Sale cover on the mug! Now let's put the Help! silhouettes right next to a yellow submarine! And throw All You Need Is Love on the coaster! I'm...confused. I understand they were trying to cover as much ground as possible in one set, but.........yeah. No. I think they should've gone with a specific theme and worked around it, but that's just me. But, as it's not my set to design...

Beatles Anthology Mug - $13.00
This has the potential to be awesome....but ONLY if it spans ALL three Anthology covers going all the way around the mug. If it's only 1 or 2 of them, meh. Forget it. But if it's all 3, then I think this is epic and a must have!!

Die-Cast London Taxi Set - $65.00
I've seen the old "newspaper taxi" Beatles die-cast car before now, but look at all these new ones!! There's so many! However, the Magical Mystery Tour one should totally be a bus. Which brings me to...

Die-Cast London Bus Set - $65.00
Now THIS is what I'm talking about! :D

The Beatles Silhouette Die-Cast Taxi - $25.00
Given all the model cars I used to collect...I think this totally needs to be in my collection somewhere. *nods*

Beatles Tortoise Sunglasses - $150.00
WAAAAAAAY overpriced, but if they were cheaper, this would be a REALLY awesome pair of shades, I must admit!

Beatles Eyeglass Case - $35.00
The actual design on this reminds me of that old Pieces Of Flair app on Facebook from years ago. It's quite possible they made the design from one of their flair walls with this! But, regardless, either way, it's pretty cool to see a Beatles glasses case. ;)

Beatles Collectible Pen Set - $450.00
O_O JEEEEEEZ....there is no reason a set of pens should *ever* cost this much. EVER. But they are pretty awesome to look at!

Help! Colectible Pen Set - $130.00
Again, a pen set should never be this expensive. But it is pretty impressive looking!

John Lennon 15" Laptop Skin - $22.00
I've never been one to invest in laptop skins, but, if I did, I would totally buy one like this! :D

John Lennon Liberty Ipod Touch Skin - $12.00
Now THIS is cool. It seems  to just fit with the natural design of an ipod touch to begin with and just looks amazing. I love it!

Sgt. Pepper Ipod Classic Skin - $12.00
I think the natural design of the click wheel works really well with the design of the Sgt Pepper drum logo. Most Beatles ipod skins I've seen just look like they're trying too hard. This is, so far, the only one for the classic design that I've ever liked!

Sculpted Yellow Submarine Mug - $14.00
What's not to love about this mug? :) It's bright yellow and happy looking. It's got the Yellow Sub characters on it! AND, it's sculpted so everything's raised! I haven't run across all that many mugs like that, so I kind of love it for being like this.

Yellow Submarine Mug - $12.50
Following along the same streak of the other mug, I love how generally happy it looks!

Imagine Mug - $12.50
I love the all white decor of this design! It's very fitting for John. :)

Beatles Anthology Travel Mug - $20.00
You know, I gotta admit, this is pretty cool! I've never seen Beatles travel mugs before. It seems silly to make them ceramic...kinda breakable...but still cool!

Rubber Soul Water Bottle - $17.50
Okay, I definitely don't have any excuse to merit such a purchase. But still! A Beatles water bottle!!

Sgt. Pepper Plastic Travel Mug - $12.00
Freakin. Sweet.

Rubber Soul Messenger Bag - $79.00
I love the Beatles, I love Rubber Soul, I love messenger bags...This, essentially, is the best bag I have ever seen in my life. ;)

Yellow Submarine Tote - $6.50
I'm still trying to  figure out what exactly the catch is, why this bag is so cheap...!

John Lennon Live in NYC Tshirt - $22.00
I have tons upon tons of Beatles shirts...but not very many John ones! Needless to say, this one is pretty cool. :) And my favorite Lennon era, too! (I have a serious thing for army jacket era John...)

Yellow Submarine Rainbow Tye-Dye Tee - $28.50
Alright, alright. I'll be the first to admit - tie-dye shirts at this point have become overdone; cliche even. But this one, the color scheme paired with the Yellow Sub motif is expertly executed. Even the rainbow at the top is reminiscent of the It's All Too Much segment towards the end of the film! And for that, this shirt is amazing.

Beatles Psychedelic Tshirt - $22.00

This one makes my list mostly because of nostalgia. My first computer had an amazing photo editing program on it I still miss. One of the effects looked EXACTLY like this, and was my favorite. Thus, its inclusion.

Band On The Run Deluxe Edition 3 CD + DVD + Book Set - $95.00

Normally, I wouldn't condone Paul's typical re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-releaseing of albums that I've already made the mistake of buying a few times over when I was younger and naive about such things. Especially since I already got that 2 disc version for the 25th anniversary about 15 years back. (Wow, that long ago now?) But...this comes with a dvd. AND A BOOK. Gahhh....if they could drop this to like, oh, I dunno, $30 or so, this would be in my collection so fast....